Concentrate On Me
by Jennie-x
Summary: Listen to Lost Souls first! Ianto is dealing with what happened in Switzerland, and Jack is there to help! Spoilers: Lost souls, and Exit Wounds.


**This will make no sense if you have yet to listen to the Torchwood Radio Audio Story - Lost Souls! It's on bbc player if you haven't heard it!! I advise you do as It's brill. :D **

**p.s this is the only story I've written where I actually like Gwen in it. :D**

Gwen watched as Ianto walked around the hub. She knew she had to keep an eye on him, more so than she and Jack already were. They had both cried, and Ianto had held them together. Only now did Gwen realise how much Ianto was hurting on the inside.

"_I want to go with them!" _His words scratched at her mind once again. He had wanted to give up, give up on the life he had in front of him. Give up in a freezing cold tunnel in Switzerland. She knew his words were probably forced from his lips because of the alien in his head, yet the raw emotion in his voice couldn't have been faked by any alien. He had meant them. Deep down, he had wanted to just give up.

"You okay?" Jack asked. She jumped, having been watching Ianto so intensely she hadn't heard their Captain sneak up on her. "Gwen..."

"Fine, Jack. Just... do you think he's okay?" Jack was startled by the question. She sounded worried, more so then before.

"I think we're all dealing with what we've lost." He answered vaguely like always. "What aren't you telling me, Gwen?" Gwen kept her mouth shut, she hadn't told Jack a majority of what had happened. At first it had been mainly to do with the shock of everything. But then she realised if Ianto was that upset, he would have already told Jack, seeing as they were who kept each other warm at night. But Jack was clueless, and for the past two weeks they had been back. Ianto had been suffering alone, again.

"You need to talk to him," Gwen sighed. She didn't want to get involved with their relationship, if Ianto couldn't open to Jack then who was he supposed to open up to. He didn't have any one else except for them two. "Please, just talk to him. Make sure he's okay. Make sure he knows you're glad that he's okay, that he's here..." She looked down at the floor. "Make him not want to give up."

"Give up... you mean..." And Jack knew what Gwen had meant from her facial expression. She was torn between yelling the truth at him, and then chaining Ianto to Jack's wrist because she knew if Jack had been trapped with Ianto in that tunnel then thoughts of giving up wouldn't have been on Ianto's mind.

"Just talk to him, please." Jack nodded and watched as she walked away.

Ianto was sat at his desk, a report under his nose as he read through the details. It wasn't anything interesting, but if he kept his eyes down long enough when he looked up to move he'd still be able to see the blur of writing instead of the empty medical bay, or if he was to turn to the left thoughts of the report would still be fixed in his mind long enough for him to blink past Toshiko's work station.

"Hey, you." Jack said gently. Ianto jumped. Jack wondered if maybe he should wear a bell, scaring his two team mates every day with his stealthy walk couldn't be good for them. "What you reading?"

"Report," Ianto shrugged. Jack had made him loose concentration, and the words were no longer blended together which meant if he was to look up, he'd see the medical bay, if he was to turn left Toshiko's empty work station would be there reminding him of everything they had lost. "Did you want something?"

"Dinner, tonight." Jack smiled. "I thought just us you know." Jack remembered back to his first date with Ianto, the anticipation, the nerves, the smiles they both wore for days after...

"I... okay." Ianto sounded defeated and the least bit excited which dampened Jack's spirits slightly.

"We don't have to go out if you don't want to," Jack said gently.

"I don't mind," Ianto shrugged. "What ever you want to do is fine." Jack watched Ianto for a while, watched as his eyes hovered over the same line twice before pushing it away in defeat.

"Where you going?" Jack asked, as Ianto stood up, his head down avoiding looking at the empty hub.

"Coffee," Ianto sighed. "If that's okay with you?" The light humour in his voice was put on for show, Jack could tell. He had hoped, like Gwen and Ianto that the memorial service they had held for Owen and Toshiko would have helped them say goodbye, but it seemed that it had only made things worse.

"I don't know do I get a mug?" Jack asked, playing along.

"Don't you always, sir?"

The day went on slowly, thankfully there had been little to no activity and Jack had managed to take care of it on his own. The less he risked the lives of Gwen and Ianto the happier he would be at night. At seven, he had told Gwen to go home to Rhys, secretly telling her to hold onto her life for just a little bit longer.

"You'll talk to him right?" She asked quietly, she had noticed that Jack hadn't spoken to Ianto about what had happened two weeks ago yet.

"Promise." Jack smiled. "Say hello to Rhys for me." With that Gwen gave Jack a light hug goodbye, and went over to do the same to Ianto. Her first thoughts were that he was far too skinny, and made a mental note to make sure he had a healthy breakfast in the morning.

"So, you ready to go?" Jack asked. Ianto looked up from his desk and nodded his head slowly. "You look tired."

"Thanks," Ianto sighed as he took his jacket from the coat rack, handed Jack his.

"Have you been sleeping properly?" Jack asked, but he knew the answer. He shared a bed with the insomniac on most nights.

"It'll pass." Ianto said, and quickly changed the subject. "Where are we going?"

"I thought I could make you dinner," Jack smiled, because like Gwen he had noticed how skinny Ianto was too.

"Okay." Ianto nodded, but Jack noticed that his heart wasn't really in it. Jack took his hand, and together they walked out of the hub. Once they reached street level it was already dark. Jack felt Ianto move closer, his fear of the dark had only increased since their trip to Switzerland, but after being trapped in a tunnel for hours, Jack didn't blame Ianto for his fears, especially with everything they had faced.

They walked in a comfortable silence till they reached Ianto's small detached house. Ianto opened the door, picking up the letters as he walked in. "Anything interesting?" Jack asked as he shut the door behind him, following Ianto into the kitchen.

"Bills." Ianto sighed, throwing the pile of letters onto the table. "You don't have to make me dinner, we could just order take out."

Jack looked over at Ianto who was standing in front of the fridge. Jack knew that when things got bad for Ianto he stopped eating, he had read it in his medical file before he had seen it first hand and he knew how bad it could get. But Owen had always been there, been the doctor, been the friend to help him through it.

"You're doing the not eating thing again aren't you?" It wasn't a question and Jack knew it had come out badly. Ianto didn't answer, his eyes looked down at his feet. "How long has it been?" Jack asked softly. He had seen Ianto eat after Toshiko and Owen's death, though it wasn't as much as Jack would have preferred but he hadn't stopped completely.

"On and off since we got back," Ianto answered truthfully. Jack moved closer to Ianto and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

"Come on, I'll order us a pizza. A small vegetarian for you, and you'll eat at least two slices okay?" Ianto nodded weakly and followed Jack into his front room. They sat on the sofa together, Jack kicking off his boots as he grabbed the phone from the side.

"Be about twenty minutes," He said to Ianto who looked up at him, big grey eyes looking so lost it broke his heart. "What do you remember about the trip?" They hadn't spoken about it, Gwen said he hadn't remembered her pulling him through the tunnel, he hadn't remembered any of it so they hadn't told him how much he had been hurt mentally.

"I remember the candy floss clouds," he smiled. Jack grinned, Ianto's non stop sarcasm on the plane had made the long and boring trip much more enjoyable especially when Ianto had refused point blank to join the mile high club with Jack. "I remember seeing Martha, being the Ambassador of Wales, and you my faithful personal assistant."

"And don't forget being married to Gwen." Jack smiled.

"How could I forget?" Ianto laughed. "Then we split up. Me and Gwen went down a tunnel, my bag had a bell on it, I remember telling Gwen that. And then everything seems fuzzy."

"That's all?" Jack asked, a hand running up and down Ianto's arm soothingly.

"Yeah. But..." Ianto paused and looked down.

"But what?"

"I've had these nightmares." Jack knew how much Ianto hated having nightmares, how much he hated confessing about his nightmares as he always thought they made him weak. "It's sort of like they carry on from what I can't remember."

"What happens?" Jack just prayed it wasn't the truth.

"The alien, what ever it was. Was in my head. And it was Owen, and then Toshiko..." Tears were falling now on both parts. For Ianto this was the first time he had uttered their names since the memorial, and that was enough to break him. "They were begging, pleading for help. Saying they were starving and they needed me to help them..."

"It was just a nightmare. They're happy together now, in a better place..."

"But you've always said there's just darkness." Ianto sniffed, holding on tighter to Jack.

"For me. I don't know what happens after, I haven't got that far yet." Jack knew he would never get further then the darkness he saw every time he died, but he had no intention of telling Ianto the truth.

"In the dream, it was so bright. This bright light just haunting me." Jack remembered Gwen telling him how Ianto had been glowing, just like all the angels in comas. "It was so bright, and they were so loud..."

"It was just a dream." Jack said again, even though he knew better.

"Lisa, she... her voice..." Ianto broke apart and Jack hated it when Ianto killed himself over and over in his mind because of the guilt he still carried. "She's always the strongest in my head, she's the voice that begs for help when I'm awake."

Jack didn't know what to say. He knew how loud those voices were too as he lived with thousands of people he should have been able to save in his head; Owen, Toshiko. Grey, and he knew one day soon Ianto and Gwen would be added to the list of voices.

"I just want to make the voices stop, Jack." Ianto cried. Jack realised this must have been what Gwen meant when she said Ianto had wanted to give up. He knew Ianto once upon a time had been suicidal. Younger, when his parents were killed, and then when he had killed Lisa. The first time he had been found by his Aunt and Uncle just in time, and the second Jack had walked in on the act. He knew the image of Ianto lying on his bed, pills just swallowed, and a sharp razor being dragged across pale skin was an image that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"They will stop," Jack promised in vain. "You can't let them take over," Jack said, rocking both their bodies gently.

"It's hard." Ianto sniffed. "So loud, Jack."

"You have to concentrate on my voice," Jack said his own tears falling down his cheeks. He had said that before, when Ianto was in the tunnel, he had told him to listen to his voice via their communication head sets. But Ianto had turned his off.

"You're even louder," Ianto smiled weakly into Jack's chest.

"I'll always be louder." Jack grinned.

"It's going to be okay isn't it Jack?" Ianto asked. Jack tried not to listen to just how young Ianto sounded.

"As long as you always concentrate on my voice, everything will be okay." Ianto nodded, as Jack's loud voice lulled him into a light sleep.

Jack looked down and noticed Ianto had fallen asleep, he knew it was probably due to lack of sleep and hunger that had done the trick. He picked him up carefully and carried him into the bedroom, he settled him onto the bed and tucked him in. He wiped his own eyes as he went to collect the pizza that had arrived. He paid the boy, and headed to the kitchen, placing them under the grill and then going back into the bedroom.

Ianto was sound asleep.

"Everything will be okay." He whispered as he placed a soft kiss on Ianto's forehead.

As long as they both concentrated on each other's voices. Everything was going to be fine.


End file.
